Cyber Love = LDR
Author: Ji I-el
Main Cast: Lee Taemin, Athena Efrinne (it’s Taemints time) ^ ^
Support Cast: Lee Taesun (aja think Taemin twin), Karrie Hang
Genre: Tragic Romance
Rating: PG-15 (eum.. yes or not? @ _ @)
Summary: ‘What should I do if one day I could no longer see their names in a computer screen or on my cell phone?’ I thought to myself as I continue to type the ranks of her poetry. – (“When at last you can survive with all of them, then all is because of your belief that there is true love) – quotes: I-el
***Athena POV *** ***
Relationship with Taemin has been running for more than 2 weeks. And that means not long later, we will pass Christmas together, past the new year together, until finally the celebration of one month of our dating relationship. Like most other long-distance relationship, the couple will utilize all existing communication tools. And since we were far enough apart, -Taemin at Seoul and I’m in Indonesia-, it seems impossible for us to use our cell phones to send messages or call each other, so we had could only use the help of social networks, and we also chose Facebook to communicate each other.
It is true, I ever read an article which wrote that, “Social networks are far and away closer to close.” And apparently, the sentence was sarcasm me literally. But even then, I’ve been addicted to this far and it’s hard to not communicate with Taemin for one day only. Without his joked, without his ravings, without his pout, my days feels so lonely and empty. And this time I think, indeed I can’t be escape from Taemin. Really? If so, then it would seem bad at all.
Oh yes, some time ago, Taemin asked me to call him ‘Tae (re: Te)’, then I told him that I also called ‘The (re: te)’. And then, Taemin gave an idea to make a nickname for us to be Thae couple. Ahaha.. nonsense, right? But, that silly things like that which can make me chuckle, until the other things that can make me laugh like when we were discussing about the twins.
When it was about 4 pm, -6 am mean in Korean-, incidentally Taemin was been fever. Well, probably because the night before he was due to cold to be outside for too long, whereas in Korea, the air is very extreme. According to Taemin’s story, Taesun who looks love his hyung so much, asleep next to Taemin together on the Taemin’s mattress. Taemin said that Taesun was keeping him all the day. Suddenly, Taesun moved his body around to face and hugged Taemin, then he said, “Karrie, saranghae.”
I chuckled when reading it, especially when Taemin continued his story. Still with closed eyes, Taesun’s hands which was used to hugging Taemin, went down to a very sensitive area for all men. Yes, you certainly know what it is. Spontaneously, Taemin kicked his twin brother’s sensitive are, and it makes Taesun startled and immediately stand up.
I was forced to wait a few minutes, it turned out that Taemin was typing the conversation between his twin and himself and in detail. I read it slowly and soon laugh out loud when I read the ending.
‘YA! Hyung, wae you kick my junior. Aishh .. It’s hurt, pabo! ‘Said Taesun while moaning in pain and do not forget to punch the stomach Taemin.
‘Why you touch my junior? Want to make me horny like your dream? Taesun, you are horny when u sleep.’ It seems like Taemin said defensively.
Taesun laughed to what he did to his hyung, ‘Hehehe.. in my dream, I have sex with some yeoja.’ Taesun said that with his innocentnya face.
‘YA! Wash your mind from it!’
‘I never think about it, hyung.’
‘So, why do you dream like that? Hahh?’ according to his words, it looks like Taemin rather heated atmosphere of embarrassment to be exact.
‘Eum .. Molla. Ahh~ maybe, I want have sex with you, hyung.’ Taesun said as he ran toward the door of Taemin’s bedroom.
‘YA!’ And Taemin was immediately closed the door when he heard the shouted of his hyung and before Taemin throw pillows are going right on his face. And that last part made me laugh really hard.
By seen the conversations between Taemin and Taesun, I thought more like having twins. How glad and happy later when i saw the kids who grew teens together, joking with each other like that. Nothing is happier than that, I guess. Soon I was back from Taemin’s personal messages while still chuckling.
Ahaha… that’s so funny. Ahaha.. I laugh so loudly in real 😄
Don’t just throw a pillow. Why don’t u throw ur dictionary or another thick books to him? ^^
Do u know? It makes me feel wanna have twin children. Kekeke..
Well, my chair is so far from me so that I can’t reach that
Then, just make a twin children after you marry
Mwo? If ur chair is in near u, u wanna throw that to him? Aigo
Ehh? “make twin children” -_-“ Do u think that’s easy, heh?
I have even no any twin in my family generation. How could I “make” it?
I ever read that to learn
U can have twin baby, but there r some rules to have sex
What is the rules to have twin baby?
Ahh~ just find that books in bookstore
I want to laugh again at this time if remembering and imagining the conversation again with the ability of imagination which I possess. Who could not figure out it when Taemin said things about twins. Even now it seems I’m still stunned, I obviously have been aged 17 years just never imagined that I would read a guide book like that. “Aigo, my namjachingu is more mature than me.” I said while reading that personal message from Taemin while waiting him to be online.
** Clouds El Moon **
It’s christmas, now. Tonight Taemin promised to accompany me until 00.00 am INT. A bit silly, but I wanted him to accompany me to pray at midnight. Though I am aware, if he kept his promise, he would sleep late, and I already know the consequence if he sleeps too late, but why am I still forced him, huh?
After returning to worship in church, I decided to let the laptop stay on with my facebook account on the screen. As a precaution, so when Taemin online later, I will not late to reply. And I deliberately tried posting a line of words on his wall, so he could respond with a comment there. Indeed, this is the way for us to communicate, if not through personal message, we will utilize a comment on the status of each one of us or to comment on our wall posts each.
** Clouds El Moon **
Finally, the moments of the waiting time had arrived, Taemin finally online 5 minutes before at 00.00. At first I felt a little annoyed because suddenly Taemin said that he could not accompany me because there is a sudden problem, but it turns out he was present also at this time. I do not forget to say, “Merry Christmas” to him after a while I prayed silently. And finally, in 2011, I can spend time in this Christmas together the person who fill my heart life. I’ve been praying, so that I can spend the other important moments with Lee Taemin.
** Clouds El Moon **
For some reason, the crack of dawn like this, my hands itch to get online. Immediately, I grabbed my cell phone which is always playing the songs that accompany me to sleep for online. No need many time to log in, the phone is automatically going to take me on my new facebook account. I see my notification and my eyes is opening widely because of the statements, ‘Lee Taemin posted on your wall at 5.20.’, I immediately shifted my fingers on that link and read it.
I have a poetry in Indonesia language for you.i tried to translate it for few days
I know it will be weird,but I hope you like it
Sebuah mentari tua tengah berpijar
Namun kini tak secerah dahulu kala
Desir ombak menyapu pasir pantai
Kini mengguncang alam semesta
Banyak pasir yang berteriak
Kini alam menampakkan wajahnya yang dulu
Tersembunyi di balik kehijauan alam ini
Namun tak seoarang pun dapat tahu
Namun rasa cinta saya terhadap kamu tak akan redup
Tak akan tersapu oleh banyaknya desir ombak yang besar
Tak aka nada yang mampu
Menggoyahkan rasa cinta aku kepada kamu
Aku tidaklah seorang pujangga yang dapat mengarang
Namun inilah ketulusan aku
Someone help me to translate my poetry into Indonesia
I know it would be weird for you.I’m not sure that I use the right Indonesia.hehe..
“Sweet.” The one word that can be I said. Early in the morning like this, a sufficient Taemin surprised me with the poem. For the people who are completely fluent Indonesian, presumably those words sound strange, but I understand. However it must be difficult for him to translate the poem that might he made in the English to be interpreted into the Indonesian language. Even so, I can still understand the meaning. Even the very notion of implied meaning of the poem defines its business into the Indonesian language. Especially, what it means even not because Taemin is very sincere love me? Then, what it means if he’s not really to love me? And I thought, I started to not want to lose him, for whatever reason.
Soon I was writing verse poem in the binder that always accompany me wherever I go. I do not want to miss any memories of Taemin. But wait, why do I have to record it? I could have continued if I see it online? No, my little heart told me to record it. Ahh.. yes, would not it be nice if I could see a line of poetry from the binder without the need to bother advance online?
I also note the line poem in my book and do not forget to make the line poem also for Taemin. I want Taemin also have memories of me.
Taemin-ah, I make u a poetry, too
I’m not good to make an English poetry, so that I’ll write this in bahasa Indonesia then u can translate it..
Kau hadir dalam semburat luka yang menganga
terlalu sakit hingga tak dapat dirasa
dan melebar ketika terpercik sedikit nestapa
Aku bukanlah seorang yang punya daya
aku hanyalah gadis yang mencoba untuk menghadirkan asa
mencoba terjaga ketika tangan tak mampu lagi meraba
Hadirmu lebih dari sekedar kekuatan
Ketulusanmu lebih dari sebuah harapan
Cintamu lebih dari segenap udara yang kubutuhkan
Sekarang aku lebih kuat
Sekarang aku memiliki pengharapan
Sekarang aku dapat bernapas lega
Aku memiliki ketakutan
jauh lebih hebat dari yang pernah kurasa
Aku takut kau meninggalkanku
Aku takut kau menghilang
Aku takut kau pergi hingga tak kembali
takut bahwa semua ketakutanku terjadi
dan aku kembali
dan terpuruk lagi
I also do not understand why my poems are written with my hand like this. Looks a bit sad at the end, but that’s reality. I’m too afraid to lose him. I’m afraid that one day I could not even reach him.
I also immediately took the laptop and start to type that poetry, ‘What should I do if one day I could no longer see their names in a computer screen or my cell phone?’ I thought by myself as I continue to type the ranks of her poetry.
And finally, today we are talking all the day. Started from the morning till the night. And if it stops, it is because we’ll have lunch and dinner, or because of a sudden our parents called us to do homework. Today looks like the final day, I do not know but that’s how I feel.
** Clouds El Moon **
Today I got an appointment with a senior to hold a meeting. Early in the morning, I’ve asked permission to Taemin with my post on his wall, so he doesn’t need to wait for me to go online this afternoon. But until two hours I waited in the street like this, yet there is also a certainty that he will come or not. I’m grumpy in the middle of the street, I’m not clear where I have tohim. I call him, but there is no answer from him. Finally I decided to walking by using 10 cm wedges which I’m wearing. And finally, my decision even made me get lost.
At this time, I still have a min to update the status that read “Help me!! -Shout-“on the facebook and it turns out make Taesun comment on it.
With a bit panicky, I guess, he offered to call Taemin. Aishh~ it will not help. All I need now is the way to home, instead of chatting with Taemin. But, I also can’t deny, while I’m chatting with him, there is a sense of calm in my heart. I could feel that Taemin is staring me all the time and carving my name in his mind. I know a yeoja like me, who ever really broken and felt tired because of the sweet treat from a Namja then suddenly leave you when you still love him, should not be longer too carried away with a sweet greeting from any Namja anymore, even you really don’t knnow who he is for the real though yesterday he had sent him the original photograph. But, somehow, I did not feel anything besides do not want to lose him. He is different from most namja that I know. People might think I’m stupid and a little less sane, but I’m the one who living with it. And I know what I do.
And finally, I decided to ask people to take me home, than I have to keep going but do not know where I want to go.
When arrive at home, I continue my online activities while lying down, to catch my breath is choked up, and stretch my leg muscles which is stiff. I’ve been reciprocated only with Taesun comment without seeing what his status for today. I also scroll down my cell phone screen to his account. And my heart almost popped when I’m seeing that status.
I’ll deactive this ma acc 2012
I just crying loudly. How couldn’t? If Taesun deactivate his facebook account, then Taemin would do the same. Not because they are twins so they’re always doing the same thing, but what I think is an online course like Taesun have to close his facebook account, how about Taemin who will not make a facebook account if it were not for the direct request of Taesun based on feelings that I keep to Taemin long time.
I was crying uncontrollably, and lucky me, there is my brother only. Both my parents go to some where. I was crying from five PM. Then, cause I feel so tired cause of crying. Then, when i woke up an hour later I started to cry again until around 10. Taemin knows that I’m crying. He felt it, and therefore since eight o’clock he was online and tried to calm me down and he’s trying to ask me to forget him before the end date of January 1th 2012, I would never see the rows of a typed oof his from my phone or my laptop screen anymore.
I hate to be waiting, especially have to count the time while I’m waiting. I think I would not be able to. I look at Karrie’s facebook account, she is also crying. I know that from her status update to the facebook account. Why do us, the women who should always be a victim of the love that we have given to the man who we love? No. Exactly, why should I always be like this? Abandoned when I was still hungry for attention and affection from my namjachingu? And now, Taemin is trying to make me hate him by saying that he did not love me anymore. What sins that I ever do so that I must experience the karma like this? Is there any mistake which I did heavily to men? Is there, Lord? Sidelines of tears, I think of God who never on my side.
Why are you so unfair to me, Lord? Why did you let me fall to crumble after you’ve lifted me up high in the limit of my happiness? God, I do not need anything else in the world, I just need a Taemin who can encourage me to learn, which always reminded me to keep my health and yelled every time if I forget to wear my jacket until I caught a cold because the cold air in Lembang. I just need him who has ever had a big fight with me because of jealousy to me who can’t get online because I called my boy friends, who always left me suddenly because he wanted to read books in the library, which always gives a virtual kiss me when I put a pout emoticons while talking to him. Why did you take all that valuable for me, Lord? Why are you so unfair when you knew this girl is so girl.
In the past, on my 17th birthday, I just asked You to provide someone to accompany my Christmas and my birthday 18th, and I never ask you to pick it up after that second big day, Lord. In fact, I never say more than that. But, why do you want to take it, now? Am not I a lamb who is valuable for you, God? Why did you let me get the worst Christmas gift in my life? Why should they be present in my life, if indeed they will go away again from me? And the silly me, I let something like this happens for the second time.
** Clouds El Moon **
Even until noon, after I spent my evening with sobs that did not stop, I was still keep silent on my bed, crying. I kept repeating to the unfair of God. Or maybe my give thanks to Him isn’t enough, therefore He always let me in tears because losing someone who means in my life?
I also type the line and said my post as my facebook status.
God, please listen to me. I never ask u to give me more than a caring and loving. Why do u take all of my happiness in my life? Why do u let me fall down after i’m in hills of my life?? I just ask u to give me someone on my b’day, not to take him away, Lord. Why r u so unfair to me?? I’m a weak girl, Lord. Please, let me together until forever. Amen..
Ttaemin sees my status then he gives a comment on it:
Don’t judge Lord
Lord gives you a happiness everytime
but maybe now Lord want you be a strong girl and didn’t want you cry and be a weak girl.
Lord is fair for us.
One day you will find your happiness more than you get now.
Trust to Him
Looking at his comments, I think again. Trying to clear my brain which already had been cursing the God. We continue to reciprocal comment, and from there I knew that actually he also wanted to cry but he could not. He’s right, I’m happy with the life of a virtual world like this. I never feel the hurt again even I could suddenly laughed by myself even if I was sitting with my parents.
Sometimes, I even do not notice them when they talk to me and instead engrossed himself in the virtual world that I join over the last few months, I was busy keeping still stay on my laptop on my facebook account and never forget to always carry my cell phone to be online during the learning in the classroom. I may indeed gone too far, can not set the time, even make my namjachingu who is younger than me, still in a high school grade school if he is in Indonesia to forced his body to still awake to be online like his promised to me. Apparently, I was already excessive.
Soon, I realized. God may indeed have a plan either of these cries. Taemin is true, I can not blame the God. Because anything that I get today is a saving for my future. I do not need to be afraid of what the Thy will for my life.
Unlike my previous ex, who tried to make me hate him constantly, Taemin resigned because he could not ask me to hate him and finally he prefers to leave the piece of hope and memories in the last day we can communicate seamlessly with the facebook. He talked about a few days before, Taesun and Taemin turned into a baby sitter for his uncle’s kids. He talked about his jealousy on Taesun because the baby boy who is still 9 months years old would not guarded by anyone except Taesun, while the toddler girls always treat Taemin like her own father and always inviting Taemin to play Barbie.
He said it was embarrassing for him, but I tried to tease him by asking, ‘what if ur kid who treat you like your cousin does, heum?’, And he’d say, ‘Yeah, I will play Barbies with my kid.’
Laughing as bite my lips because I doubt with my reply for his statement, ‘Ne, later you will play with you and your wife kid.’, He replied, ‘yes’. I bite my lip again when typing the next answer, ‘And I hope She is me ..’
Really, I might be too bold to say that, but I just being shocked when I’m seeing his response, ‘hope so.’
Looking at those words, finally I have the ability to stand up, now. I could tell him that I would wait for him, even to the unknown time. And finally I said, ‘hhhh .. i want u to be the one who be the father from my children. That’s why, I’ll wait u:)
He looks so doubtful. And with a steady nod, I convinced him with my next comment. I’m sure he saw me nodding like this now and I hope he’s waiting for me too.
And during our conversation, Taemin posted a song on their status:
donna toki mo love
Kono kokoro ni love
afureru hodo always love
Kimi wa Boku no egao no riyuu
now aenai Toki mo smile
ima tsutaetai sugutodo ketai ai wo komete
Listen this song if u miss me ..
I Will always love you
** Clouds El Moon **
Finally, he does not deactivate his facebook account. He obeyed my request to leave the account to state active, so that I could see the conversation we’ve ever done, either by our comment on the status or by the wall-to-wall. And I hope, he can be present again in cyberspace, coinciding on important days like Valentine’s day, he and his birthday, Christmas day and new year in subsequent years. And hopefully, my new Year’s Eve at the request granted: I would be meet with Taemin with still have the same feeling of love just like before he left my perfect world, the cyber world.
** Clouds El Moon **
NB: “And if there is anything I can do after your departure, it must have been waiting for you ..“
“I’ll wait as long as I can, and I hope that I can as long as it is forever ..“
사랑해, Shy Boy.
** Clouds El Moon **
Yippii … ^ ^
The FF is finally over. Applause all ^ ^ -clap.. clap.. clap ..- ^ ^
Eum .. FF is dedicated to you you have ever experienced this kind of thing. Sometimes we often think that this is not fair, that’s not fair, ahh God not siding with me or anything.
Hey, God knows what we need and that’s why we do not need to know what really is in behind all that we experienced, we are quite grateful. ^ ^
Left or loss is not always carry the downturn, but rather the resurrection for ourselves. If we realize that we are precious in God’s eyes, then we will also be aware also that a lot of wonderful plans that God has form and provide for His people ^ ^
Oh yes, HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR YOU ALL YA !!!!! All SSF all ^ ^
YES WE ARE MORE GOOD familiar, folks!! ^ 0 ^
MAY THIS YEAR hopes and dreams come true!
Ppyong ^ ^
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